Most kids

"Most kids..."

I think these are my least favorite two words in the English language. (Except for moist and the way my husband says mother, think old fashioned kid who's in trouble 'yes, mother'...um no I'm young and hip and a mom thank you very much. But that's probably too off topic here...)

Back to my hatred of any sentence that starts with "Most kids..." There is safety in numbers and when your kid isn't following what most kids are doing you feel like a failure. To be clear, not that your kid is a failure, but that in some way you failed them. 

But what do you do when it's something big and scary that your kid isn't doing like they expect? Where is your safety in numbers? What are you supposed to believe or expect then? 

Less than 10% of babies are premature. Less than 2% of those premature babies develop subglottic stenosis (narrowing of the trachea caused by scarring from intubation). Of those 2% who receive a series of procedures to dilate the trachea 0% end up with no airway and needing a tracheostomy as a result of the dilation. Zero percent! Awesome. Thanks stats. I hated you in college and I hate you now. 

Over and over again doctors have tried to comfort us with most kids statistics but our little Jackson continues to show us he's the exception. 

So here we stay in the hospital until they figure out why he is the exception to this latest rule. Why his lungs just don't seem to want to cooperate with this tracheostomy. So far I have resisted the urge to punch anyone...yet. But you can be damn sure the doctors are careful when they use the words "most kids" around me. 

But while we wait to figure out this latest issue, I'll share some most kids statistics of my own... 

Most kids don't have hair as awesome as Jackson's

"Yes, I just wake up with these curls, cause I'm awesome like that"

You know you wish you had curls like these

"Great Scot Marty!" Where's the Delorean when you need it? Get me the hell out of here! 

And I bet you most kids don't have a dad as awesome as Jackson's...

While trying to figure out the lung issue they told us it's a dehydration issue for 'most kids' so Hunter took fluid intake tracking to the next level with charting that would make any nurse jealous

And then he took it next level...level NERD...when he discovered he could project it on the wall. But he is one awesome dad and we can definitely eliminate hydration as a source of the problem