Hospital Birthdays

Our family is getting pretty good at celebrating hospital birthdays. Jackson actually had a really special 2nd birthday here last month and my 30th birthday was pretty awesome too. Actually I would go so far as to say it was one of the better ones. Turning 30 was a great time to reflect on how much has changed in 10 years. A few friends shared some throwback photos and I can't help but look at that crazy 20 year old college girl and laugh at the problems I thought I had then; at the carefree, optimistic way I approached life assuming things would always work out, thinking nothing bad would ever really happen. I definitely never imagined my life being where it is now. 

My mom asked what I wanted to do for my birthday and at first I felt too guilty to celebrate. I worried it was too selfish, what would people think of me if I left Jackson for a bit. But after some encouragement from my mom I realized it was ok to leave the hospital for a little bit. It was ok to still take a little me time. It was ok to still celebrate my birthday. So thanks to a lot of help from my parents and brother-in-law and sister-in-law who all helped watch Jackson and Riley (it takes a village!) I got to enjoy a perfect day that made turning 30 feel pretty good. Even though Hunter and I spent the most of the time talking about mucus (yes this is normal dinner conversation to us, obsessing over the thickness of the mucus in Jackson's lungs), and hospitals, and upcoming surgeries...Hunter and I both agreed it was the lightest our hearts and minds have felt in months. 

I am so glad we took the opportunity because Jackson is coming home today. While we are thrilled to have him home again, we are nervous. And we know that we will not have the opportunity to go out together like that again for a long time. One of us always has to be with Jackson. He can't be left alone with anyone who is not trained and prepared to deal with his trach coming out and resuscitating him. And that's a big ask. 

So while Jackson was in a safe place I'm glad we took the chance to soak up some sunshine, savor that cocktail, reflect on the past, and start to look ahead to our next challenges. Here's to another great decade and hoping that in 10 years we're sitting back, watching two healthy kiddos run around, with hospital life a distant memory, thinking wow I never thought my life would take me here. And maybe enjoying that cocktail on the beach next time. (Hint hint Hunter 😉)